Why everything We love will eventually lead to our suffering
I've heard it said that everything we love will eventually lead to our suffering and since then, I've thought about this concept, more and more, noticing its truth in my everyday life. Can we ever have something purely bring us joy without suffering? I'd argue no. Everything that we love, eventually, someday, will lead to our suffering, because we love it so much. So many romantic relationships end with divorce or a break-up, and that ending is often a painful process. Even the truest, purest relationship, will eventually end as one partner dies. My friends and I are at that age where starting a family is a common topic of thought and discussion. We love the lives we live with our husbands that even though having children will be a great joy, there will be a loss of the life we spend together, just the two of us as husband and wife. Health, sports and taking pleasure in what you can do with your body in yoga, competitive sports, etc. will eventually lead to your suffering as you age and your body can no longer perform the way it used to. I worked with a man who loved his job, and because he loved his job, retirement threw him into a depression. There was a void left by the loss of his job, and the parts of himself that were fulfilled by his job (e.g. identity, social opportunity, purpose) were lacking that fulfillment. Even how we define ourself will change over time, and the parts of ourself we are able to express will change as our relationships change. Think of a mother who when her child is small, holds and nurtures her child. As the child grows, the 'mother' she is able to express will change as the child no longer wants to be held, or wants more freedom in adolescence. Eventually, the child will leave the home, and the mother has to redefine herself. A mother, she will always be, but how she expresses that and the relationship between mother and child changes over time as the child becomes an adult, and starts a family of his or her own. Everything we love will eventually lead to our suffering, and yet, we must love anyways, responding to the calls of our heart and our spirit. People come and go in your life, relationships evolve or devolve, change is constant, and when we love something with all our hearts, it hurts when that thing, or experience, or relationship changes. This is what it means to be human. To live and to love, to experience joy and to suffer. And, beautifully, our suffering from that loss, is also affirming of the fact that we loved, of the contribution that thing we've lost had on our lives. And, we must love even with the knowledge that our love will also, eventually, be the source of some suffering, that contrast between the two is what gives each its meaning. Love with all your hearts, and try to show yourself compassion when you are in the place of suffering, of mourning, knowing that even the suffering will eventually end and change as all things do.